Soni's Spark Shack

By Soni’s Spark Shack

The End of Growth (Maybe)

What do you do
when you’ve outgrown the pain
but haven’t quite outgrown the shape it left you in?

When healing starts to feel like furniture—
a place you sit every day,
hoping comfort will eventually arrive
in the form of motivation,
or magic,
or at least a little less noise in your head.

People talk about growth like it’s a climb.
But what if it’s erosion?
What if healing is wearing down
the parts of you that once kept you safe—
the armor, the fire, the constant need to prove
that you are not what happened to you?

Maybe I’m not blooming anymore.
Maybe I’m composting.
Maybe all that pain is finally rotting into something fertile.
And maybe stillness isn’t the end of movement—
just the breath before the next step.

But I don’t know.
I’m still sitting.

And sitting is painful.